


do you ever wonder how the stars shine out for you?

by olrazzzledazzzle



Series: Wish Upon A Star [2]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Emotional, Hurt Peter Parker, Peter Parker Angst, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker Whump, Precious Peter Parker, Timelines, Tony Stark Has A Heart, slight whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-09
Updated: 2019-01-09
Packaged: 2019-10-07 02:21:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17357105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/olrazzzledazzzle/pseuds/olrazzzledazzzle
Summary: “When Peter was eleven years old, his uncle Ben bought him stars for Christmas.Of course he didn’t pull them out of the sky (although for Peter, he’d do whatever he could) or bring him celebrities down from Hollywood.No, he got Peter a silly package of those glow-in-the-dark stars to stick on the ceiling. Very nineties-esque, but it’s not like Peter ever cared, especially as such a young child. Anything Ben got him was beyond perfect.”(this won’t really make too much sense without having read second to none first, but hey, free rights, you don’t have to if you really don’t want to (i heavily recommend it though))





	do you ever wonder how the stars shine out for you?

**Author's Note:**

> a bit more of an in depth explanation of the star part from the newest chapter of second to none bc i couldn’t get it out of my head — it’s basically a timeline fic with a bit of angst — one am rambling

When Peter was eleven years old, his uncle Ben bought him stars for Christmas. 

Of course he didn’t pull them out of the sky (although for Peter, he’d do whatever he could) or bring him celebrities down from Hollywood. 

No, he got Peter a silly package of those glow-in-the-dark stars to stick on the ceiling. Very nineties-esque, but it’s not like Peter ever cared, especially as such a young child. Anything Ben got him was beyond perfect.

It was an entire ordeal trying to get all of the glowing stars lined up precisely on the ceiling of the young boy’s bedroom, but once it was finished — topped with only the most important constellations such as _The Belt of Orion_ , the _Big Dipper_ and _Leo_ for Peter’s zodiac — it was absolutely perfect. 

Peter had never felt such a strong sense of joy and pure adoration for anything unlike these stars before, much less at just eleven years old. Space and astronomy was _their_ thing — it’s what him and Ben first bonded over after Peter’s parents passed away, so it was subsequently very special to them and their relationship, thus the connection to the stars in Peter’s bedroom. Even today, Pete knew it was the first science-related topic he ever felt a true, burning passion for, so he really had nobody else but Ben to thank for his brains today. 

To say Ben changed his life was an understatement. 

Every night before falling asleep, Peter would count the stars upon his ceiling, once and once more just to make sure they were all there. It’s not like he didn’t know how many were stuck up there — a hundred stars and eight planets on the nose — but rather that after a long day, it was the same as counting sheep. It never ceased to let him drift into slumber every night.

When Peter was thirteen years old and Ben had passed, Peter continued to count the stars he saw, wondering — hoping, _praying_ — that from wherever he went, Ben was watching him and cheering him on every step of the way. It was one of the little things that truly comforted the newly grieving teen, and to do such, he needed to hold on tight to whatever he could get his hands on. The stars were the only way Peter felt like Ben was still somewhere with him, always protecting him. Somehow. 

When Peter was fifteen, him and May were forced to move out of the house they resided in to a smaller — much, much smaller — apartment to save on bills, because living off of one paycheck biweekly for two people (with one being a growing, constantly hungry teenager who had endless school fees to pay) was far worse than living off of two. 

Peter brought every single star with him to the new apartment. He ensured to count them all as carefully as possible. 

A hundred stars and eight planets on the nose. 

When he arrived to the new place, the first thing he did was grab a chair and put them all back on his new bedroom ceiling, less organized — no real constellations anymore — but it didn’t matter. All that mattered was that Ben was there with him and that all of the stars derek card for and protected with Peter’s life. 

The first night, in Peter’s uncomfortable, cold bed, he counted the stars — over and over and over — because this just _couldn’t be right_ … 

There were only ninety-nine upon his ceiling. 

Somewhere deep in Peter’s mind, he figured the missing one was Ben, and fate was the only one to blame for the missing star, gone from the bunch. 

Instead of falling asleep to the rhythmic counting, Peter fell asleep with silent tears streaming down his face. 

That same year, Peter met Tony Stark.

That’s right — _the_ Tony Stark! 

God, Ben would be so proud. 

When Peter spent time with Tony, the ache and longing he felt for Ben most of the time was greatly diminished, and he felt _happy_. Peter never thought he’d get to feel that way again, he figured he’d be empty and sad and lifeless for the rest of his time on Earth without Ben. 

But he did, thanks to Tony. 

When Peter was seventeen, his life was changed — and not for the better. The money he had May had before had run out and they were evicted from their apartment. While packing up, Peter made absolute sure to count all ninety-nine remaining stars, because he didn’t know — or maybe he didn’t _want_ to know — what he’d do if he lost another one.

That Christmas, Peter and Tony had a heart-to-heart, and Peter gifted a Tony and Pepper each one of his stars. That night, the couple made sure to place them safely on their ceiling. Now Ben would look over them, too, and that’s all Peter needed to sleep soundly that night. 

When Peter was eighteen, he felt an array of things. Foremostly, he and May were able to move back into an apartment of their own — it wasn’t big or fancy by any stretch of the imagination, but it was theirs and that’s all that mattered. Peter felt incredibly joy the day they moved in — his box of stars was most definitely among his few other possessions, and he’d counted ninety-seven exactly the day before moving in. 

Then…Peter’s life could come crashing down on him once again. 

Everything happened so damn quickly and Peter found it nearly impossible to wrap his head around the severity and weight of all of it. 

Thanos snapped, and there went half the world in an instant. 

Half of Peter’s, too. 

He, May and Pepper were all alright — thank God — but Tony… 

Peter couldn’t even think about it without breaking down into tears for at least the next few months of his life. 

During those months, Peter didn’t have the heart to touch his box of stars at all — he’d never gotten around to putting them back up in his room before Thanos — and he didn’t have the heart or courage to do so after him, either, because now, all these stars did was leave him with a sick feeling in his stomach and a sore heart. He was too weak, too fragile, too _broken_ to do it. 

Tony’s disappearance made Peter feel like the stars were against him. He couldn’t touch them again. 

Still, though, he silently prayed Ben and Tony were both watching him from wherever they were. He hoped he’d made them both proud. 

When Pete was twenty, he finally had the courage to put the stupid stars back up onto the ceiling of his bedroom. 

He’d counted them once, then again and again and again and again and… 

This couldn’t be right. 

There were ninety-six stars remaining.

**Author's Note:**

> in this universe thanos still snapped but peter was fine — tony wasn’t involved in the snap, he passed away in the spaceship but nobody knows that — for all everyone knows, he passed away in the snap 
> 
> also yes i’m fully aware the ages are weird and different, that’s why this fic is here lol


End file.
